"We got a hotdog down!"

A plate. A wobbly hand. An arrant hotdog. Pavement.

Somehow, only one call of "We got a hotdog down!" came over the radio yesterday. Only one. Nothing else took a freefall to the ground. Not even a sugar-laden sugar cookie with multi-colored sugar frosting piled a half inch high on top was lost. (And by the way, how ridiculously good and how equally bad are those at the same time?)

But back to the beginning, as we get to my friend's house, we saw that he had invited another couple with their 2 kids. So...

Our 7 + Their 2 + Our friend's 2 = 11 kids

Now we originally thought our friend would have all 5 of his offspring, but most of them were actually spread across the globe, visiting family or being explorers.

So we grilled and hung out. For a while. Until they started begging us to get in the pool. For a bit, telling the kids, "I'm not gonna swim...but your mom, she said she wants to" was a successful toss under the bus of A giving me more time above water, but soon the pull became too great and the sun became too hot...and I dove in.

A little aside...

Okay, so I started picking up the kids and holding them upside-down by their legs the other day. Don't ask me why. They love it. They actually chase me around the house asking me to do it again. This love of an upside-down world carried over the pool.

Back to the adventure...

I tossed in G at least four or five times, into the deep end, off the diving board. Remember he's 7. And just learned to swim in the deep end maybe 3 weeks ago. We may have a little daredevil on our hands.

After the deep end tosses, I was commissioned as a circus freak/guy who tosses kids into the shallow end from the side of the pool. The job came with no pay and potential back problems down the road...but the kids had a great time so I'm cool.

And as the sun set and people began to illegally shoot off fireworks in the nearby skies, we loaded up the truck and rolled out. Off to more adventures...

No Hotdogs in the Pool

Well, we are about to embark on our 4th of July festivities - a BBQ n' Swimfest at a friend's house - as one Voltron* unit combined. 7 children. 2 adults. 1 SUV. Let the mayhem begin...

...and once we get there, my friend has his own 5 kids to toss into the mix. So, yea. Kidland over there. A land of kids. Children as far as the eye can see.

And as I prepare for this adventure, one nagging two-part question raises its hand in the back of my mind:

Part A. How many hot dogs covered with ketchup and mustard will hit the floor in a hot mess of food meets water and chlorine-soaked cement?
Part B. Or worse, food meets pool?

I'll let ya know...

*See the mid-1980s.

I Believe...#5

I believe chess is a great game to play with the kiddos. It teaches them to think ahead. Cause & effect. To use strategy. To plot. Plan. Scheme...um, wait a second...

Even still, it sure does make them look smarter sitting in front of chess instead of checkers.

Chess: Not just for old men in parks anymore.

So, A and I bought a chess set not too long ago and thought "hm, maybe we'll play this sometime." Or perhaps put it out as a "hey, we're a smart couple, look at our glass chess set!" type of decoration. Probably near the front entrance to set a great first impression to our guests. But...sadly we never opened it until today. To play the kids. Because they asked to play. Chess.

Well the first game was a close one between A and J-Girl, with A squeaking by a win with just her King and a Rook left standing. The next game I took on Girl J, and after a little strategy and perhaps a Leprechaun rooting me on from behind the couch, I won. J-Girl's a good player. A good - 11 year old - player.

Well, these games created so much ado along the countryside, all the villagers came down to watch and be watched. G then decided to throw his gauntlet down and challenged A to a game...a game that he won. He's 7.

So cheers were cheered and trumpets were sounded as Lil' B was the next to claim his chessmanship. He went up against G and the result was the longest game in chess history, ultimately resulting in a stalemate. Two kings staring down each other. Across the battlefield. Both hungry for a win. Both hungry to settle the score. Both hungry for...lunch. We had soft tacos. They were good.

"I went and hid behind a shoe."

This just in over the wires...

The Lego Castle, originally reported as unharmed and in tact, has been reduced to rubble.

"Arrrr! Methinks it be a sea creature that did her in," reports Lego Pirate with Beard and Eye Patch. "Up from the depths, bigger than any man e'er seen...come a giant boy-man, not yellow like the rest o' us. He be the monster that did the deed that be done!"

Eyewitness tales of the castle's downfall are coming in from as far away as the upstairs gameroom. They tell of arrant bricks, massive carnage and few survivors.

"I went and hid behind a shoe I did," says the pirate. "I went and hid behind a shoe."

Come pway Wegos!

Was just thinking how the way the youngest boys - E and J - ask to play Legos is hilarious.

"Come pway Wegos."

After 2.5 seconds, I get another...

"Come pway Wego-o-o-o-o-os!" (With each additional "o" there's a foot stomp.)

Okay. Thought I'd share with the group.

Oddly enough, they spared it.

Okay, so the elite few of you following this blog may have noticed the poll I had concerning the sacking - or non-sacking - of the Lego Castle I built (scroll for pictures somewhere below.) To those who thought they'd spare it, they spared it...for the most part. And only after adding their own individual touches, of course.

That's the sunshine, lollipops and rainbows news. And now for the rest of the broadcast...

I had to round up the herd and, with the support of A, assert the fact that when I say something, it needs to be done - just like when mom does. (Wow, I just got old.) But seriously, as a bill payer in this living structure, there have to be rules laid down, then rules followed. I'm not a junior in high school and this isn't me running for Student Council president. I'm already the popular guy in this house. No posters or speeches necessary.

I really don't like dictating to the kiddos, but if we don't, it will be Lord of the Flies meets Planet of the Apes or something. I don't know exactly, but it'll be unpleasant.

So, phrases like "time out" and "I'll take that Xbox away if you don't behave" were tossed about...then the Xbox was actually taken away. Tears were shed. Hopefully lessons learned...