Learning to Learn

I was bored at work and flipping through my phone when I realized something: most of the pics I have stored in there are of either A - duh, she's my superGF - and E - duh, he's the like the cutest 3-yr old ever. However, there are six other kiddos that are barely blipping the radar on my phone's picture area. Kinda made me get to thinking...

In all honesty, I feel a stronger connection to him, because he feels a stronger connection to me. He's the youngest, and maybe I feel I have more time to help him grow into the most wonderful man on the planet. By no means do I think I missed the bus on the others, but at 3, I gots me some time to get to parenting, you know?

And yea, J-Boy is 4, but he has already developed such an independent nature. He's got a little bubble around him. And I see it slowly dissolving, but there is still some resistance there. And G is 7, and at the age where he needs a guy to kick the ball in the yard with him, which is why I sense the second strongest bond with him. Although, according to Yoda, he may seem defiant and unpredictable at times, I will certainly take him on as a Jedi-in-Training (Padawan for my Star Wars friends.)

Lil' B is 9 and seems the most reluctant - at times - to get on my side. Sometimes I see a glimmer of hope that he will take to me as another parenting unit, but I by no means ever try to push that upon him. I was around his age when my parents divorced, too, so I get his nervous attitude. Patience is a virtue...one I happen to be born without, but as I stated before, perhaps Sam's Club will one day stock it in bulk. Until then, I take things day by day.

And then there's the girls. Lil' A is 10. At first I literally thought she hated me. Lasers beams and daggers from her eyes to my face. But as time and trips to Cici's have happened, what I once felt was a genuine disgust for my general well-being has proven to be her way of actually showing she likes me. Sure, she talks back and questions my authority at most every turn, but I'm guessing that's what 10-yr old girls think is funny. Right?

Now for J-Girl. She's 12. And probably the most even-tempered kid of the bunch. She's always got a smile on her face and probably literally increases the "happy meter" in the room by ten to fifteen points every time she enters it. Except for E, because he doesn't so much like being kissed on the cheek, and J-Girl tries to do that to him every five seconds. What can I say, she loves her lil' baby bro. And she seems to like me, too.

I've even gotten a couple hugs from her - which seemed awkward at the time because they were "just for whatever" hugs - but now, looking back, were amazingly awesome things. I imagine girls don't hug people they don't like...unless they're putting "kick me" sticky notes on their backs. Lemme check something...

And, last but never least, is M. She's the teenager. And the one who, unfortunately, has had to take on both the roles of sibling-taker-carer-of and normal 13-yr old this past year. She certainly does more than her fair share of looking after her sis and bro squad, which leaves her physically exhausted at times. Not to mention, emotionally drained. And this on top of the physical and mental exhaustion of a being a teenager. A female teenager. I can't imagine. I don't want to imagine.

With so much activity happening around a house with 7 kiddos, I have only had one real, meaningful convo with her. She and A had words, and she yelled at her mom. A came to me distraught, explaining what had happened. After I let the two of them cool down, I went upstairs and spoke with M. It was clear she was frustrated, being treated like a child, but expected to act like an adult. I got it. I could see where she was coming from and I simply told her that her mother knew she was in pain, and only wanted to help. We both did. We try to make her life as fairytale and wonderful as possible the times we get her. Wires got crossed and miscommunication set in.

Moments later, they talked it out and it was fine. I wasn't looking for a segue here, but, communication is vital in all relationships. And it's not like I just discovered that all Plymouth Rock-style, it is something I have to be reminded of all the time. We all do. Unless you're some communications guru who teaches a communication class about communicating. If so, sign me up.

So somewhere way up those paragraphs, I had a point-in-the-making. It was that although I felt E was my best chance at helping to raise one of the kiddos from "scratch" because of his age and his affinity for me, I was wrong. It doesn't matter the age. I'm 32 and still learning things. Every one of these kids need me the same amount, some of them just don't know it yet. And if they do, they show it in their own way...

And I'm fine with that. Besides, how old was Luke - like 20-something? - when Yoda began to train him? I'll make Jedis of all these kids long before then.