Posts from the road...#14

You're at bat. Life is on the mound. God owns the stadium.

They aren't all gonna be homerun pitches. Some are gonna curve, some drop, some even change up on you. Just keep your eye on the ball and tighten that grip.

Momday, Momday...

Sur-prise! Sur-prise! Sur-prise! I got home from work and the kiddos were still in the midst of their Momday. (Mom-day: noun. Every Monday A has lunch and otherwise hangs out with our little gaggle of kiddos.) Today, I got to get in on that.

And then I got to help with homework. Whoa. Me...helping them...with homework. Have I arrived? Or is this just another test along the road to official role model-dome? It was cool. I jumped right in with the editing. Change this. How about using that? Maybe use this word instead here. And I had that obligatory red pen in tow.

The circle is now complete. When I left you [school] I was but the leaner. Now, I am the master. Bring on the lightsaber battle...

Okay. Sidetrack. Where was I? Oh yea, red penning some stuff. Yep, J-Girl wrote a great summary on her summer reading book thing that I helped shape into a masterpiece. And M wrote a very cool story about a girl in a movie who didn't realize she was in a movie until the very end and the whole time thought her little sister was being kidnapped. Twisty plot stuff. Might have a little screenwriting assistant on my hands. Oh, even better, perhaps a Jedi Writer Apprentice. Sweet.

G had to color his notebook - as homework? Nice assignment. A+ for staying within the lines. Lil' A and Lil' B had their homework - on the Internet? Does not compute. What, are they in college already? C'mon, teach, lighten up on the technological dependencies. Geez.

And J-Boy's "homework" help consisted of me manning the player 2 controller on Star Wars Legos II. Twist my arm, right? And E needed help with the Lego house he was building for us, then we moved on to the really hard subject of Superheroes. I never knew the story of how Green Lantern and AquaMan teamed up to beat the lesser known evildoer, Captain Cold, until this evening. Intriguing stuff.

Look into it...

"We're going BACKWARDS!"

Holy chocolate cake, Batman! The party for J-Girl went swimmingly. Not that there was a pool involved...that's for J-Boy's 5th next week. Who's ready for a Spider-Man theme? I am! But let's swing on back to today's party...

...where, again, swimmingly. So apparently that pizza amusement park land I spoke of pre-dates time itself, so it has been around for longer than a minute...however, the kids loved it and I love that they loved it. The pizza was good. The chocolate cake was delish. The presents were adored. Monkeys were introduced. I met some of A's family and they were great. They maybe even thought I was great. That'd be great if they thought I was great.

But, as I said, swimmingly. J-Girl and the gang o' 7 ran hither and tither, going on rides - which I joined, including the crazy pirate ship that went into the ceiling and the roller coaster thing that went forward then, as E exclaimed "We're going BACKWARDS!" Oh man, those kids and their preciousness.

I also boarded a spinny-around thing with G a few times that left me dizzy, and him going again. And again. And then one more time. I guess the "I can ride anything as many times as I want without succumbing to said ride's side effects" belt shall be given to the new champion. Congrats, G! And yes, there is a belt.

And superbrother kudos to Lil' B for going the extra mile - maybe literally? - and riding shotgun for E so he could drive the bumper car one time. I see where E gets his road warrior skills. Ahem...A. I kid. I kid...or do I?

(Yes, I kid.)

Birthday Monkeys

So it's been a few days since my last post, but being one who cringes at the thought of starting up small talk, I didn't want to waste time talking about the weather, the pre-season Cowboys or the fact that my allergies have officially begun a civil war with me.

But now, today, I got something to talk about. It's J-Girl's birthday! Yea! I know we just celebrated a bday not too long ago, but with 7 kiddos, a lot of birthday donuts are gonna be eaten and shindigs thrown.

So J-Girl's the BIG 1-2. On the cusp of teenagehood. Last of the tween years. And she likes monkeys. Not sure why I threw that in there, but there ya go anyway...

...and here we go to some pizza meets super crazy amusement park land with a gaggle of kids and a group of adults in tow. I'm excited. Mostly because I get to see the kiddos again, but also because it's a pizza meets super crazy amusement park land. With a monkey or two tossed in by us for good measure. Of course.

I just want this to be the bestest birthday for her ever. We made it happen for Lil' A, so we just want to keep the streak alive. Go 7 for 7. Because these kids are awesome and they really deserve it - and birthday parties to the young ones are fun time celebrations where they get to tick one year older towards whatever age to where they think life really gets good...Ooh, 16! Ooh, 18! Ooh, 21! And then the decline happens...Oh, 25! Oh, 30. Ew, 35! Eww, 40. Not that we role models can't cut a rug and have a good time, but the majority of us have passed through that little bubble of fantasy ages we all had as kids.

But soon the younglings will come to know us wise like Yoda in the ways of the Force - and just life in general. But that comes around the "Oh, 30." stage. It did for me. Although I have always valued my mom's advice, it didn't start to completely sink in until I took off the "I know more than anyone else before me" armor. But I'm not 100% advice-spongey yet. I kept the helmet and shield. So I still know unknowable stuff.

So back to pizza meets super crazy amusement park land and the fact that we will all be celebrating in a few hours. And meeting new members of A's family. Eek! Hope they take to me...

Hey, guess what. Life's a celebration. Probably shouldn't just wait for bdays and Christmas to celebrate it. But save the extravaganzas for the milestones...like when little girls turn the BIG 1-2.

If you ever play Scrabble...

...please make sure you know what the word you are playing means. Because beating the odds, getting the "x" and then pulling from a memorized list of random words that someone at some point must have used once in the history of word usage so it somehow made it into the dictionary defeats the purpose of the game.

xi noun
1. The 14th letter of the Greek alphabet.

There. A freebie on me.

Posts from the road...#13

Okay, real quick. If you're a Metro PCS'er like myself, then there is a snazzy website you need to surf upon @ www.funformobile.com.

I must have just downloaded twenty ringtones for zero dollars and no pennies. I mean they have other stuff like games and pics to pimp out your background as well, but I'm all about the ringtones.

My text message alert is Yoda saying, "Do, or do not. There is no try." Droppin' classic Star Wars knowledge.

School Stuff

Man. School started today. One of my buddies cried when he dropped his little boy off at his very first day of kindergarten. Another guy I know was on the verge of tear droppage. I bet I may waterfall a little bit when E and J are no longer just supercool kids, but supercool students. Sniffle.

Speaking of which, today was M's first day of 8th grade. I think it's kinda something - funny maybe? - that A got to gradually grow, ahem, wiser, while raising her wonderful offspring and I'm like - BAM! Your GF has a 13-yr old in 8th grade which means "older" and me were two trains on a collision course and someone broke off the track switcher knob. I didn't get to ease into parenting like an old man into a hot bath. Nope. I jumped in daredevil style from the roof. Head first. Swan dive.

So yep. First day of school. The kiddos reportedly loved it. Which is a bit odd because I remember kids always disliking school, but if it ain't broke...right? I mean there's always recess. Or what I used to tell people my favorite subject was: the bus ride home.

Buffalo Chicken Pizza Iron Man

There was no room at the inn...for the nine of us today that is. At church. This morning. How funny is that? Literally being turned away from church because it was too packed. I get it. Fire code and all. But, for real...turned away. Mary and Joseph-style. From church! Something, somewhere smacks of irony. I'm not mad, just humored.

So we came home, read the kiddos some Bible verses and got ready for....Cici's Pizza! Yea! Gotta admit, their buffalo chicken pizza is scrum-diddly-umptious! And then you dip it in ranch...wow. So good. And super bonus that it's the kids' favorite eating-type place. Happy and full kids? Battin' a thousand.

After stuffing our faces to the point of bloat, we rolled back the casa for nap time. I needed one the most. Crazy beat. A and my mom took M and they went a-shoppin.' School shoppin.' For the gang, minus E and J, who are still pre-pre-K. They'll get their chance soon enough. Why rush them learnin' books anyhow?

And...after nap time came IRON MAN 2 time! E, an avid Iron Man fan and amateur impersonator, was super excited, but more interesting was the fact that Lil' B, an Incredible Hulk/Wolverine sort of fellow, was the one coming at us with all the "yes!" and "cool!" words...

...so yea, we did the whole "let's all go the movies" thing and it was good. $1 hotdogs? Blissful. $4.25 large cokes? Not as much bliss. Far less bliss. Safe to say, no bliss. Blissless.

But, I am happy to report that the whole weekend was a success. J is starting to get all cuddly bear on me which means I'm either role modeling kinda good-like, or he's just tired of acting too cool for cuddle school. And even Lil' A is starting to talk to me with less "back" attached to it. Two kiddos thawing out in one weekend. Sounds like them odds is in my favor! Yeehaw!

Man, I buy a cowboy hat and suddenly start to go all country. I reckon.

$1.99? Are you outta your mind?

Ugh. Okay first off. Best title I could muster up at the moment, despite the horribly annoying commercial that phrase accompanied and it's crazy ability to dig inside my head and echo it's annoyingness all the day long. Moving on...

...to "On Demand" from your friendly neighborhood Time Warner Cable. Last night after the boys were tucked in and prayed over and began to pretend to go to bed, the girls wanted A and I to play a game or otherwise help them be able to stay up later than late. And after an attempt to reach back in the dusty file cabinets of our minds, we could not for the life of us remember 100% how to play Skip-Bo. Go figure. And Monopoly - despite my pleas - went unplayed. So...

...we opted for a movie. A kid-friendly movie. So first choice: Ghost Town. However, an f-bomb not three minutes in stopped that with the quickness. It was only $1.99. So it was like a two dollar lesson. Lesson being: don't rent Ghost Town for the kids again.

Next movie choice at the $1.99 range: Nanny McPhee. Not horrible actually. No cussing. Bonus. Kids laughed like 99.9% of the time, talked the other. Despite the odd overkill of ridiculously deep blues, greens and reds dancing on my retinas, I could catch a glimpse at why the kiddos begged to watch the film. And why they now want to watch the upcoming sequel Nanny McPhee Returns. Joy.

Courting

Livin' la vida loca in the fast lane sometimes gets you traffic tickets. And if you don't feel like dropping a bunch of coin on paying the ticket outright, you call up the sharks to get it dismissed. And sometimes that blows up in your face and you end up in...

Court. In the morning. Early. With a gaggle of other people who are in your same boat. Fun stuff.

Anyhoo, that's what happened to me yesterday. Thanks to a ticket I got back four months ago that my lawyer pushed in hopes of dismissal. Fast forward, yea, that didn't pan out. With life and the world revolving every 24 hours as it does, I completely forgot about the court date until an 8p phone call the night before. That was nice.

So, luckily, the boss was cool with it and I was able to scoot on over to the courthouse and...wait. And wait. Seeing other people get dismissed and smile like they were "the next contestant on The Price is Right!" I joked with A that waiting to hear your named called is like the lottery. I never win the lottery.

It's early, I'm rambling and prob not making any points here, but if you were able to discern anything from this, I guess it might be to...stay on top of your traffic tickets? So...you don't have to go to court and waste half your day? Because...that's never fun?

I Believe...#10

It's pretty sweet what you CAN do once you stop letting other people tell you that you CAN'T.

Posts from the road...#12 (it's alive!)

It's pretty sweet what you CAN do once you stop telling yourself that you CAN'T.

Toys vs. Decorations

'Twas the other day when I was having a convo with a friend of mine and of this blog's about a huge multi-pieced Lego Yoda she just bought online sans instructions and I was all, "How are you gonna build it? Use the Force?" Buz-zing! I'll be here all week. Anyhoo...

That led to me remembering how at some point A and I had established a distinct separation of toys versus decorations last month with the kiddos. In case you don't 'member, the boys' room is all pimped out in superhero-ness. And some of the things I have placed on the shelves are "toys" from Comic-Con and other random collectible-type doodads that aren't so much irreplaceable as they are extremely breakable.

So we taught the kids that some of the stuff in their room, despite bearing an uncanny resemblance to toys, are, in actuality, decorations - and therefore, much like Al Capone, untouchable.

It's so funny to hear E point at the Superman carousel on the shelf and be all, "That's not a toy. That's a decoration." Oh man, lemme tell ya, it's priceless.

So, yea, moral of the story, nugget of wisdom from this word mine...make the distinction between the playthings that you don't mind the kiddos wreaking havoc upon, and those you wish to keep in one piece. At least that's what we do anyway.

Just Etch-A-Sketch It

Sometimes stuff gets to be a little too much, ya know? Work life meets home life meets the feeling of no life and BOOM! There you are...in a funk.

So what I like to do - and I haven't been doing it near as much as I should lately - is shake it off. Like an "Etch-A-Sketch" us oldschoolers used to see in the toy bins that no one hardly ever played with. Just shake off that bad feeling, bad vibe, bad day like you would a drawing on the sketcher and let the sand (or whatever made that weird noise inside) dissolve your problems away.

HINT: It even kinda helps if you literally mime holding an Etch-A-Sketch and pretend to shake the crummy drawing out of your life.

So, there ya go. I'm about to start a new day...with a fresh sketch pad.

Technical Note

"Posts from the road..." have been temporarily sidelined as I try to figure out this new Blackberry I bought. Ugh. Beatdown. If airplanes in night sky were actually shooting stars and I had just one wish, I'd wish for a different phone. Back to touchscreen land and mobile internet service at the drop of a hat...

How do people get hooked on these? I don't see it. No "crackberry" thing happening here.

"Balloons were balloon'ed."

So the bday party for Lil A went supercalifragilisticexpialidocious-ly. Balloons were balloon'ed. Ice cream sundaes were sundae'd. Hot dogs were hot dogged. And ketchup and mustard'ed. And instead of birthday cakes and cupcakes that apparently everyone always does and all the kids are always so tired of, we did glazed donuts with vanilla frosting and sprinkles. Lil A's donut had a "1" and a "0" candle in it. She's a double-digiter now.

Backing up a little, since we were all about not letting her see the set-up downstairs, we made sure the other kiddos helped keep her upstairs. I think at one point, J had to literally sit on her for a bit, and then that other kid, TV, the one that always entertains everyone else...yea, he did his part to keep her occupied.

So as Lil A was upstairs, we decorated the living room and kitchen, transformed the wood floor into a balloon catastrophe, and decorated for our little ice cream social...which had an awesome turnout, resulting in some decent cash flow for the bday girl and some pretty cool presents as well.

I think she summed it up best when this little dialogue piece went down:

Me: So, did you have the worst time ever?
Lil A: (barely containing a smile) Yes.

Oh, and we had a slip n' slide out back that the kids were loving. Soon after they began, word spread through the yard that there was a plan to overtake the guard (me.) I played along. Changed my uniform and went outside. Sure enough...they attacked! I was pinned down on the wet battlefield by an excess of no less than 10 kids. Of course, I emerged victorious. Wet, but victorious nonetheless. So what did I do then? Got back in line for the slip n' slide of course. Duh.

So Lil A had a great day which means we got a 100 - or at least a 98. Go, role models!

And a little aside for the cooking aficionados...everyone, and I mean everyone, loved the fact that I boiled the hotdogs instead of grilled them, despite the surge of naysayers at the beginning of my hot dog venture. So...boiled. Yes. Grilled. Only if you want to melt outside.

The Weekend's Top 3

3. If being late to church was popular, A and I would be Brangelina.

2. We hauled the gang on over to my friend's house for his 4-yr old's bday bash. Great success! The kids had fun, the bday boy had fun and...apparently the toys we bought finished first in the toy-liking contest. Specifically, Joker-and-his-car-that-has-a-hammer-that-smashes-things toy.

And the number one thing on the Weekend's Top 3 is....(drum roll and such....)

1. Today is Lil A's bday party here at the house!!! It's a party weekend. She's just moved into double digits, yet this pre-teen has somehow already mastered the teenager scowl. She's advanced for her age.

What are we gonna do you ask? I think I heard you ask. Right? Anyway, it's an ice cream social with an American Idol karaoke twist, that's what it is. Not quite a Baskin Robbins type o' thing, but it will certainly do the trick. Lots of flavors, a mess of toppings, waffle cone bowls?

Yes. Waffle. Cone. Bowls. They never had that when I was a kid. But, then again, I was always super happy with just vanilla covered in chocolate that I'd mix and swirl together in my bowl until it resembled a modern-day Mickey D's milkshake...okay, now I'm hungry.

Oh wait! What time is it? We're gonna be late for church!

There's Folgers in my cup!

Okay, so the kiddos and A are on their merry way back to this humble abode. Little do they know, we secretly switched their ordinary coffee with Folgers crystals - oh wait! Took a tangent. Wrong turn. Sorry. Um, little do they know, I'm home. Yep, got off early to surprise the gang. SURPRISE!!!

Legos. Nerf guns. Ghost Whisperer. Monopoly. Xbox. Superheroes on Tech Deck skateboards. And introducing...kickball? Hm. If it doesn't rain.

Yea, gonna make all that happen.

Posts from the road...#11

It's time for reverse skate, everybody! Reeee-verse skate! So, it is Lil A's bday this weekend, and we just so happen to have the gang back over, this weekend. Ergo, we are mulling over party ideas...swimming pool party, roller skating fiesta, taking over the world...those sortsa things. Decisions, decisions.

Whatever we do, I am just happy to have them back. Especially the ones with love enough to fill up JerryWorld (ie. Cowboy's Stadium.) Because like the Beatles sang..."All you need is love."

Just don't go all robot

"Dude, you got a blog now!"

Said to me not so much to be all congratulatory with the high-fives and chest bumps and whatnot, but more so to try and drive home the thought that I'm no longer the guy who goes out every night and knows what bar to go to when and where and all that jazz. I don't even really like jazz. Nope.

It's true though. I'm not that guy anymore. People ask "you been to so and so?" or "what do you think about blah blah blah?" and I'm usually all "huh?" I'm out of the newest, latest, greatest (?) club scene. But, I never really liked clubs in the first place. No sir.

Lemme take this paragraph to mention that A and I, yea we still go out. I didn't drop off the face of the earth, get abducted by aliens or go all robot...I still like to - and kinda still know how to - have fun. Just because you throw the job title of "role model" into the mix doesn't mean you become a wallflower sitting at home letting the world pass you by. Just means you got more on your plate. Hope you're hungry.

And the, "Dude, you have a blog now!" is like "Dude, you can't be going out because you got a ton of kids at home to handle and cartoons and toys and a thousand trips to the grocery store." I'm like 99% sure that's where they're going with that stuff. And it's true. When we have them, they are where our heads are at. But, when the kids are away...the parents will play. Responsibly. It's "let's live this life" time and I'm drivin.' Responsibly.

So anyweezy, my friends like to take Rocky vs Drago-esque jabs at me from time to time. Prob because of my drastic life change over the past year. I get it. And you may get it, too. From your bubble of friends and life-people. But, where they may just have the one life, we have two lives. Like Bruce Wayne. Sweet. All you gotta do is figure out in which life you're the regular dude, and in which you're the superhero.

Role modeling is the new black. Didn't you get the memo?

Posts from the road...#10

You know how we hate it when it's hot outside. Like temperature is 100, heat index says 105 and your face is reading 150? And we say, "man, I can't wait for the winter."

Then we also gripe when it's cold. Like single digit cold. My nose just fell off cold. And we're praying for summer to hurry up to thaw us out. This ringing a bell?

Well being wishy-washy about weather is fine. That's me on a daily basis. But, when it comes to life and raising the kiddos and stuff, I find it better to stick to one gameplan - or season, if you will - and hold on tight. Cause I have found wishy-washy to not only confuse the little ones, but start to throw me for a loop as well.

So I guess what I'm saying is that it is probably better to stick to one set of "live your life, raise your kids" rules than to pick and choose them randomly like a morals breakfast buffet.

Posts from the road...#9

Enjoying me some chicken wraps at KFC - no, not Mickey D's this time - when I got to thinking. Are fast food joints open later 'til like 1 and 2AM'er to strictly cater to the drunks who get hungry after they were thirsty?

Sure there remain the few who just eat late, and of course, the vampires, but staying open to mostly just feed the drunks seems like it may be perpetuating something or another.

Just some food - or chicken wraps - for thought.

Until we meet again...

So July has left, and so have the kiddos. They are headed back to their dad's for regularly scheduled programming. We go back to the "every other weekend" thing now. I can't lie and say the peace and quiet isn't soothing - and a bit relaxing to boot! - but, I already kinda miss 'em. Maybe they miss me, too. It's not a cool feeling, that "missing" thing. Who am I gonna play Legos with now? More importantly, how am I gonna play without using the kids as the reason? Oh, Legos, you had me at hello.

I hope this month has meant as much, taught them as much, as it has me. A month is a long time for adults, I can only imagine it must thirty lifetimes for a kid. And it's amazing how a pretty strict regimen of breakfast, Legos or Xbox or both, snack, more Legos, lunch, Nerf gun fight in their superhero costumes, dinner, Legos and bed - for the boys - and, breakfast, TV, snack, TV, lunch, TV, dinner, TV and bed - for the girls - never got old, but it never got old. But Star Wars Legos and iCarly are supercool, so who could ever get tired of them anyway, right?

We get them again next weekend, 'cause that's the way this ball bounces, so it isn't so bad. Perhaps this week will give us the chance to clean up this war-torn (I'm sure I'm exaggerating) house. I have never seen someone - A - clean up so much one minute just to have to turn around and clean up again the next (unless I count my mom when my bro and I were growing up.)

I guess that's why God invented maids, who work by the hour. Smart. Pay me a flat fee? To clean up after seven kids? Everyday? No, no, you pay by the hour. But, we don't have a maid. We have Windex and paper towels.

"Brennan pancake!"

Ever made a Brennan pancake? Or an "insert your name here" pancake? No? Well some of the boys did this morning. Just imagine yourself resting peacefully when...ATTACK! You are dog piled. Kinda like football, but you don't have a football. Or pads.

G yells "Brennan pancake!" and leaps on top of me while I'm lying down. And, of course, E follows suit. It was kinda funny. They used the superbounce of the pillowtop mattress in conjunction with their inherent jumping bean-ness, and...BLAST OFF! Then crash down. On top of me. The "Brennan dough," as it were. And make a pancake out of me. If anything, I'd be a blueberry pancake because I love me some blueberries.

And as cooking class was in full swing, J-Boy runs in and we begin to make Brennan sandwiches. I guess lunch got here a little earlier than planned.

We ended this round with the boys running upstairs and grabbing some Spider-Man books we bought them. E was like, "I'm gonna read it to you." He's 3. "Read" was more like explaining what he thought the pictures were telling him, but in the end, it played out a lot better than the words anyway.

What a great - and somewhat Advil-inducing - way to wake up in the morning. Okay, we're going to church now...