"Burnt Biscuits" (author unknown)

Not one who digs on emails of the forwarded nature, I was leery on opening this one up. But my bro sent it to me, so I gave it a whirl. I'm unsure as to who the original author of this was, but it's a great story with a great moral. Enjoy.

When I was a kid, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work.

On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my mom and ask me how my day was at school... I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that biscuit and eat every bite!

When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Honey, I love burned biscuits."

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides - a little burnt biscuit never hurt anyone!"

Life is full of imperfect things.....and imperfect people. I'm not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else. But what I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each others faults - and choosing to celebrate each others differences - is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.

And that's my prayer for you today. That you will learn to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of God. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where a burnt biscuit isn't a deal-breaker!

We could extend this to any relationship. In fact, understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!

"Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket - keep it in your own."

God Bless You.... Now, and Always....

So Please pass me a biscuit, and yes, the burnt one will do just fine.!.!.!.!

I Believe...#9

Kids - much like our four-legged K-9 buddies - can sense when you've been around other kids. It's a gift. Like kid ESP. They smell it on you. Not literally though. Usually. So anyhoo...

No joke, I was on location at a diner yesterday when the owner's two-yr old walked right up to me and started playing games with his menu. Out of the blue like he knew I was safe and cool with the whole "kiddo scene" as a role model and whatnot.

He walks up with the menu, hiding his face from me, then lowering it and laughing. Did it maybe a hundred times. Give or take. He was a funny little dude. I asked him who's menu that was. He said his. I asked him where mine was...and he ran over to the counter and brought me one. He told me "here, this is yours." The menu spoke of fajitas. My favorite.

Posts from the road/I Believe...#8 supercombo

I believe that kids entering those zany wacky teen years will be emotional. Duh. They will misplace their anger, their sadness, their overwhelmed'ness on us at times.

They are in that 'who am i, can i be you?' phase where up can be down, and left is...also down. Just let it ride. Don't take offense. Or defense.

Betta Fish, Crawdads and Snakes oh my!

Sitting in my office as G comes in and we start talking Betta fish. He wants to buy 10. But, when I said he'd have to buy 10 separate tanks because those little Japanese fighters like to, well, fight, he didn't so much care for the idea after all.

That led to "and this one time" where they were exploring for crawfish - crawdads to a Texan - at his grandma's, two "Diamondheads" (Diamondback snakes I'm assuming) slithered up and they had to abandon their hunt. I told them they are poisonous and to stay away from them. He said yep and then told me...catfish have pointy things that can break a fish tank. Because "this one time" his friend's catfish was being petted, and shot out his pointy things (whiskers?) and broke the glass. Okay.

Then J-Boy came in and they noticed the crickets on my desk for work. They were intrigued. When does it go from boys loving bugs to grown men thinking they're pretty nasty? Childhood. Gotta love it.

Then E came in and looked outside the window and yelled "It's not dark." Ha. Thanks for the head's up.

Posts from the road...#7

Okay so we have just til this sunday afternoon with our little army, so I'm wanting to do something super-mega ultra cool for them.

So if you guys have never seen the 'comment' section below - it's at the bottom of this post - pretty please with a cherry on top leave one and give me ideas for a 'last hangout for a bit with the kiddos throwdown shindig.'

That'd be real supercool if you did.

Star Wars: Who's Your Jedi?

Hey role models, it's no secret that I like Star Wars. I believe every kid and adult human - and non-human - on this planet should know about it. And then love it. It's a pop culture catch-all that can spark any conversation, good or great, and lead to many other things, good or great. I do not, however, feel the same about Star Trek. Moving on...

So, we popped in the Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones dvd and watched as one familial unit today. As I watched for the 3747584th time or so, I allowed my mind to wander...into thinking who was the greatest Jedi of all time - in the regular George Lucas universe, not the fanboy-extended Star Wars universe. Anyhoo...

So, most websites will say Mace Windu was the best lightsaber duelist while Yoda was the strongest in the force. Of course that was the "still getting his bearings" Anakin Skywalker phase and pre-Luke Skywalker era. So if we consider all the top Jedi dogs, without considering time and place - in their primes, as it were - we can then begin to rank these guys into the best of the best. Pay attention, 'cause this here's some good knowledge to pass on to the kiddos. Pop culture small talk ammo, remember?

Keep your hats on and your hands down until the end of class, but...I think Obi Wan Kenobi was the best all-around Jedi. Follow me here...the "Thrilla in Manilla" climax of part III pitted Kenobi against Palpatine's golden boy Anakin, who was thought to be the "one who will bring balance to the force" and slated to become "the most powerful Jedi of them all." Well, sorry Annie, you caught a serious, lava-filled beatdown at the hands, and lightsaber, of Obi Wan. He had the upper ground.

And remember, Obi Wan beat wicked good saberist Darth Maul after he killed Qui Gon Jinn on Naboo. He then was throwing down with old school gentleman duelist Count Dooku (or Darth Tyrannus, if you prefer) and he held his own pretty decent until the long day's work coupled with the fighting for his life against an army of bug dudes got him a little winded while Dooku played the whole "undermining" his Jedi prowess with his "I'm so disappointed" talk. Plus, part of him was worried about the deep fried Anakin still smoking in a heap in the corner. So there's that.

He stacked up a pretty nice heap of bad dudes in his wake before turning old, feeble and gray in the outskirts of Mos Eisley.

I know what you're thinking. Luke killed Darth Vader while Kenobi almost killed the pre-robot suit version of him. But even though Luke was awesome with the saber, Vader was old and beat down. He was also having regrets about his lifestyle choices over the years...and probably was a little bored of the same outfit day after day for many decades.

Plus, Obi Wan Kenobi was the first dude we old schoolers ever saw do the Jedi "hand wave" telling someone that who they were looking for was not actually who they were looking for. You just can't beat that with a stick. Or lightsaber.

Wow, this post was long...huh, Star Wars. Gotta love it.

I Believe...#7

I believe lying for the sake of lying, or worse, for the sake of negative results, especially against anyone undeserving, will only result negatively for you in the end.

If you have kids, you are setting a bad example on how the real world behaves versus how it should. Moreover, if you're just simply a human being on this planet or any other globular mass in the Milky Way, you'd be illustrating yourself as the kind of person who not only typically leaves an enormous carbon footprint in their wake, but also a huge "come and get me karma" one as well.

I'm of the mind that karma doesn't necessarily target you back, but perhaps sets its sites on those around you who you care about. And maybe karma is a myth, but I'd sure dislike being caught in the headlights of that "myth" in the middle of the street on a cold dark night should it turn out to be real.

time and money and life and stuff

I value money. Highly. Blame it on whatever helps you sleep at night. TV. Society. Whatever. It's one of the things that makes the world go 'round. That at the gravitational pull of the moon, the sun and the solar system. And possibly ancient alien technology.

However, above money, I value my time. And when my time is spent being unhappy and sprinkled with a sense of fruitlessness, change needs to happen. There is no worse feeling - for me anyway - than the idea that I'm simply spinning my wheels, treading water, going nowhere fast at my job. The notion that I've put my life, my purpose, on hold for a bigger paycheck is nails on a chalkboard for me. Sometimes, somehow, money edges out time at the finish line. And my money was on time.

There comes a moment where you have to make a choice. And I'm not talking McDonald's or Jack in the Box for lunch, I'm talking life altering, epic changes that need to go down in order to put time and it's value back at the top of the list. 'Cause according to my religion, we only live once. If you're into reincarnation, then rock on, do your thing until you get it right. I just got this one shot on this old blue marble.

So...I've made a decision, marked it down on my brain's to-do list, and circled it. Time won out over money. It then hung up its gloves and retired undefeated so nothing else could challenge it in the ring. I will no longer be a slave to money forcing unhappy times. I will follow my dreams and use whatever talents God has given me to go forth and do what I need to do to ensure bliss.

Maybe you guys should do the same...it's kinda liberating.

ignorance, blissful ignorance

Don't let the post title fool you, I'm not directing the "ignorance" part to the kiddos. That'd be all derogatory and mean. If they don't know something it's because we haven't taught it to them yet. Nay, I am directing the wish for ignorance towards me.

You know how kids don't know a lot? It's true. Look it up. How great would it be if we were oblivious to many things in the world as well? And I'm not talking war, famine, lack of sleep...nope, I'm talking about that nagging feeling in the back of your mind saying "you should of been more" or "you could be doing better." More of what? Better how?

See, these pesky yearnings for something just outside our physical - and monetary - grasps, bug me. They exist everywhere. But why? Kids don't see beyond what they have right in front of them. They are typically content with their own personal material possessions, aside from the fact that they want a new toy time and again. But that's not because it will fill some sort of emptiness in their lives and they think that "stuff" will, well, stuff that hole...no, they just want a new toy. I mean, Tickle Me Elmo was cool and all, but Tickle Me Elmo 2 is coming out, so...come on.

Where and when did we start looking outside our little boxes and not caring so much for what we already have, but for the things out there in space that we will probably never get? The wish for ignorance now comes into play. What if we didn't know some people have millions of dollars laying around to buy fancy cars, boats and summer homes in the Hamptons with Sonic ice machines? What if TV and magazines didn't tell us that in order to be successful we had to follow a certain path of greed and materialism? What if we were simply ignorant of all those things, only knowing about what's right directly in front of us? Like a kid. Unaware of things beyond our reach...

For me, anyway, that'd be pretty awesome. And I'm not saying don't try to be all you can be and whatnot, but don't let that trying take over your life. The Dark Side will consume you.

Posts from the road...#6

I woke up early bird special style when a little 3-yr old dude named E jumped up on the bed and started squeezing my cheeks and bulldozing/burrowing his head into my ribcage. His head is all round, so it would take a while to drill down to the bone. Anyhoo...

And instead of Grinch-ing out like last time (see last post) I was all ears when he was telling me he knew where the Yoda packpack was, and that he made a Lego robot version of me. Beep bop beep beep bop.

He then ran upstairs and got it, along with J-Boy and G. Then ensued more Legoland sagas...and some Nerf war tales. Apparently the whole of upstairs is a war-torn hotzone. Take cover.

The troops deployed back to playland and I got ready for work. But not without the promise that a Nerf battle was coming...beware a furious swarm of rubber-tipped foam darts. You've been warned.

Posts from the road...#5

Chalk it up to lack of sleep + inexperience = "come on, man!" but I goofed up this morning.

Three of the boys (out of 4) were all waiting at the gates for me to wake up this morning. Chomping at the bit, as they say. And as I finished getting ready, I strolled into my office to do the email checking thing and - booya! - there they were, Nerf guns at the ready. Here's where the goof went down...

Instead of grabbing them up, or chasing them around the house all "I'm gonna get you!" style...I said "You know you can't have those guns down here." Epic fail.

So, yea, that was not my best model moment right there. If I can somehow score some time machine blueprints, I would be set. I guess mistakes happen...

...and its the good role models who correct them the next go 'round.

Posts from the road...#4

You can be as hardcore, as tough, as "I'm a macho, macho man" as much as you want all day long, but as soon as a kid laughs and smiles in your face, you are gonna smile back. It's cause and effect. It's science. Don't fight it.

And as much as you may get frustrated or annoyed by the little ones - and don't lie and say you never do - just think about the times they won't be in your life, and it will help you treasure the times that they are.

Easy, July. Slow it down.

So it's a little - er, a lot - passed the midpoint mark of July. We've had the kiddos all month so far, and I'm bummed the month is flying away like an old man's hat down Main Street in a stiff breeze.

Sitting here at my desk, just now getting home from a 14-hr long haul at work, I am truly, truly bummed. Did I say that already?

Cool thing? The girls are still awake, and I spoke with J for a few minutes, which was nice. She seems genuinely interested in my well-being and stuff, so this whole "role modeling" thing might be working after all.

Alas, the other two girls didn't peel themselves away from the magic glowing box that has pictures and talks to give their hellos, or even throw me some deuces and a nod - but, hey, who am I to compete with Nickelodeon? And the boys are all out like lights and I'm not waking them up from dreamland, so...I write this and say bummed again. Here it is: bummed.

The upside? Is there an upside? Maybe. The weekends are awesome. I'm like the shiny new bike or an official Red Ryder carbine action two-hundred shot range model air rifle at the bottom of the stairs next to the Christmas tree when they first see me. I'm like the new guy who showed up at the party when everyone's already over talking to everyone else. "Hey, Brennan's here!" They are so happy to see me, and I am so happy to see them.

So, if there is an upside to working all week away from A and that little army, it's the look on the troops' faces come Saturday morning.

Cause of the Month: TARE

The Texas Adoption Resource Exchange (TARE) is an organization that promotes awareness of the slew of Texas children who have never known the true love a family brings. Whether they were simply given up at birth, or taken from an uncaring and unsafe household, these kids deserve a better life than they have been dealt.

Now I am not saying run out and be a trendy Brad and Angelina, but if adoption is something you have once considered, or are considering, do yourself and the children a favor by at least visiting TARE's website and checking out the list of kids in need. Read the info, then make a decision about your next step if the situation calls for it.

http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/Adoption_and_Foster_Care/default.asp

remember: nobody's perfect

As hard as we may try to be good role models, we are gonna trip and fall on our faces at times. Things will get overwhelming. Situations will get beyond our control. And as a result, we will overcompensate - in a good or bad way - to try to fix whatever problem arises, oftentimes making matters worse.

I got overwhelmed. I stepped - albeit willingly - into a situation where a woman has 7 children. Less than a year ago, my life was that of a 4-night-a-week barhopper and party-goer. I made great money and had myself to spend it on. I played video games 'til the wee hours of the morning. I had no one to worry about but myself. I wasn't a bad person, but I definitely wasn't a saint either.

When things got serious with A, I thought the "ex-husband and kids thing" would be easier than most people were telling me, but of course I have been known to think I can handle any situation that presents itself. It's not smugness. It's neither pride, nor arrogance. It's the need inside me to overcome the obstacles and not let them hold me down, or hold me back. It's about being able to control my life, not be controlled by it...

But whatever the case, life got a hold of me and has since controlled me. This morning I was tired. Probably because of too much sleep last night as I was trying to recoup lost energy from a week's worth of the sun and Father Time using me as their personal punching bag in a twisted no-holds-barred wrestling match. Bottom line: I didn't go to church with A and the kiddos. I honestly didn't feel well, but that excuse will never fly in this house. I was told I "wasn't being a good role model." I tripped and fell on my face. I contemplated ending this blog. Was she right? Was I a fraud? But, then I got to thinking...

I am a role model "in training" and I am certainly whatever the opposite of perfect is, but I try my hardest whenever I can. And to the other role models out there who try, fall down, and then get back up to try again...that is what this blog is all about. It's for you. It's for those who stepped up to the plate mid-game and are giving it their all. And it's not horrible, nor out of the ordinary to glance back over your shoulder and see your old life that you left behind. Your decision comes down to one thing: Do you either tighten your grip on that Louisville Slugger and turn back to the pitcher ready to knock one out of the park, or just head back to the bench?

I am certainly bummed I missed church. I do think it's important to attend and show the little ones that going to church can still be "cool." And this blog is not about - and will never be about - religion. I think pushing religion on anyone is the fastest way to get them to avoid it entirely. Your beliefs are on you. These daily scribbles I punch into the keyboard are for those men and women who need to see that they are not alone as newfound role models. We experience the same things. We fall down. We get back up. We try. We have picked up the slack. What more can anyone ask of us?

Saturday. Saturday! SATURDAY!

Sweetness, it's Saturday. A day of legos, xbox, girl TV and talking about how seven pennies and a quarter in a Spider-Man money box is "a lot of money" and "you should take your mom to dinner." This is a day of not so much rest - which is needed - but, of family time - which is needed more.

After the work week beats you down Monday through Friday like it's beating a dead horse, I can see the true meanings behind things like "TGIF" and "workin' for the weekend."

So I woke up, right on cue, to stomping feet above my head at around 9er AM. Because I knew that stampede upstairs was the coolest bunch of 7 kids ever thrown together into one house, I smiled and got out of bed.

Who needs to sleep in anyway? There are homeless lego people to worry about.

My Mom

My mom has been so great with the kiddos. From the get, she has been "grandma" without technically being "grandma," ya know? She loves the kids and they love her. She has done so much in the very short time she has known this lot of 7.

And being intro'd to such a lot couldn't of been a piece of cake to walk into, but she did so effortlessly and it's pretty much amazing.

Of course, sometimes I - being a new role model, from a different era - and she - a role model champion - don't see eye to eye on some issues concerning the kiddos and their kiddo experience.

I truly take all her advice to heart. I let it marinate in my brain and then chew on it, but A has been raising her offspring for years on end, and so far they are rock stars. So what I do is use A's already set ingredients for parenting, throw in a dash of what I think is right and sprinkle in mom's advice throughout...

Seems to be a winning recipe.

Hi-ho, Hi-ho, off to work I go...

About to head out to work. A just left, she's got meetings and whatnot for the better part of the day. I won't be home til mega-ultra late prob...the life of a dude who works on TV shows. Anyhoo...

So that leaves 13-yr old M to rule the roost. Which is cool is some ways, giving her responsibility, managerial experience, yada, etc...but if you caught the "13-yr old" part, it's a drag because she needs to be being 13, with the liking of boys and the hair clips and the "I love purple!"

The world betta prepare...for when I'm a billionaire. I'm gonna get a nanny for the kiddos. And a butler for me and A. Call him Jeeves. And a driver for my Bentley. And have McDonald's snack wraps DELIVERED on the daily. Where was I?

Oh yea, two busy adult units, one parental, one in-training...both super busy trying to bring home that juicy bacon. The kids don't get that we have to work. Money and bills. Bills and money. Maybe money should grow on trees. I'd have a tree farm.

Posts from the road...#3

ugh, it was tough leaving the kiddos this morning. the boys greeted me early and i kept thinking...man, i wont be back home til late and they will be in dreamland by then. long days may be necessary, but they sure are bummers.

Table for 13, please.

So this morning went pretty much like every other morning thus far: woke up to stomping feet upstairs that sound - and feel - like they're inside my head and then zombie walk around the house, making an attempt to get myself ready for the day as I try to barter some "me" time in the bathroom that A has fully claimed as her personal domain. So far I can get a few minutes in there for two sheep and a bail of hay.

So we loaded up the truck and moved to Bev-er-ly...Hills that is. Swimmin' pools. Movie stars...Oh wait. We went to church. And the Word was good. Amen.

After which, we were met by my mom, Mema (my grandma), my bro and his wife. We all cruised on over to Cici's Pizza. Which just so happens to be one of the kiddos' favorite places to munch. Who knew? There's neither a big rat cheesing for pictures, nor a robotic wildlife animal hodgepodge band playing happy tunes. But I digress...

We took over that place like an invading army. Tables were moved together. Chairs positioned to our liking. Ambiance altered to our pleasing. Pizzas special ordered simply to amuse us and tickle our collective fancies...and also to satisfy our palettes. We were the kings and queens of promise. Kudos Kings of Leon.

All went very well. Kiddos behaved like champs. Cici's was a success. Cici's will happen again. Prepare thyself, Cici's.

Taking Stuff Away/Giving Stuff Back

Hm. I was thinking a little while ago about the concept of taking away a beloved toy/tangible object such as the TV or Xbox to punish a misbehaving tot and thought, "Hm, this ultimately just perpetuates other ongoing problems, resulting in no results." Here's how...

Sure, sure the kiddo cries their little eyeballs out for the moment, but that soon passes. What replaces this is tiny idle hands introduced to large idle time. Uh-oh.

And after the punishment is over and whatever mayhem during the toy hiatus has ensued, they get the stuff back and gorge themselves on it. TV becomes their BF4Eva or the Xbox becomes their favorite robot with skinny noodle arms attached to bulbous, plastic hands that have buttons on them that the kids can push and make stuff happen on the screen. They get hooked even worse.

This, in turn, brings up a whole new problem of overuse of stuff. Sure, in my last post I lauded the video gaming world - and I still think video games help keep the mind from being terribly wasted - but everything should be done in moderation. I love McDonald's snack wraps with their chipotle bbq sauce, but do I eat them everyday? Yes. But, that's not the point. Point is, too much of something - for kids - is bad news.

Where was I? Oh yea, so now we have to once again take away the game/Xbox/snack wrap - not to punish, but to ween. Ween them away from overeating - as it were - on their technological babysitters.

It's a windy road. Uphill both ways. In the snow.

I Believe...#6

I believe video games* are good for kids. They teach them to think and use teamwork. Their brains are kept from being reduced to jelly due to non-use. As where the TV has been known to turn them into jelly brain-eating zombie potatoes, the video game console - when added to said TV - is kinda like them being in school...without them thinking they're learning stuff.

It's like summer school. Or homework. That they beg you to do. Genius.

(*Of course, Lego Star Wars and race car games are the ones I mean for the kiddos. Games like Grand Theft Auto and Modern Warfare...those, I believe...those are good for me.)

Posts from the road...#2

So I get home right at bedtime for the kiddos last night and rush up to tell the tiny humans goodnight. They went to the waterpark with A and my mom so they were pretty much zombified after many hours in the sun/rain at that point, but they snapped out of it when I poked my head into their rooms. They asked if they were gonna get to see me today, which was a bummer because they prob will not. Swing and a miss for me. On the flip side, I did grab E the Yoda packpack to sleep with and convinced A to let the girls have a later curfew so they could rule the Monopoly world. So I think things evened out.

Posts from the road...#1

In a pack of 7, you are gonna have top dogs and underdogs. Nature of things. Its not a bad idea to give the latter a helping hand outta the trenches at times.

This is a test.

This is a test from the emergency phone broadcast...system...thing. Anyway, I was checking to see if posts from the road on my cell would work. They do. Joy joy.

Artwork by E & J-Boy

The following art pieces were made by the youngest boys - E (3) and J-Boy (4) - on a drawing app...on my Samsung Finesse.


"Robot" By E


"Another Robot" By E


"Punkinhead" By E


"A Guy" By E


"Elmo" By J-Boy


"Dragon" By J-Boy


"Flinky" By J-Boy


"Daggy" By J-Boy

"You're a Yoda packpack!"

Ever find yourself being referred to as a "Yoda packpack?" No? I have. You see, many moons or two years ago, for Halloween I went as Luke Skywalker from The Empire Strikes Back when he went to train with Yoda on Dagobah. Well, to complete the ensemble, I scooped up a Yoda backpack...you know, for authenticity's sake.

Well, fast forward to two days ago, I showed E - the 3-year old - the backpack and he's like...

"That's the same guy as the Lego guy!" (He's referring to the Lego Yoda amongst the Lego cache.)

And I'm like..."Yep. It's Yoda."

And he's all..."Yoda's a packpack!"

And I'm all..."Yep, Yoda's a backpack."

He comes back with a..."That's funny!"

And I come back with a..."No, you're funny."

And then he's like..."No, you're funny!"

And then I'm like..."You're a Yoda backpack."

And he comes at me with..."You're a Yoda packpack!"

And then he runs off laughing. One word: precious.

"We got a hotdog down!"

A plate. A wobbly hand. An arrant hotdog. Pavement.

Somehow, only one call of "We got a hotdog down!" came over the radio yesterday. Only one. Nothing else took a freefall to the ground. Not even a sugar-laden sugar cookie with multi-colored sugar frosting piled a half inch high on top was lost. (And by the way, how ridiculously good and how equally bad are those at the same time?)

But back to the beginning, as we get to my friend's house, we saw that he had invited another couple with their 2 kids. So...

Our 7 + Their 2 + Our friend's 2 = 11 kids

Now we originally thought our friend would have all 5 of his offspring, but most of them were actually spread across the globe, visiting family or being explorers.

So we grilled and hung out. For a while. Until they started begging us to get in the pool. For a bit, telling the kids, "I'm not gonna swim...but your mom, she said she wants to" was a successful toss under the bus of A giving me more time above water, but soon the pull became too great and the sun became too hot...and I dove in.

A little aside...

Okay, so I started picking up the kids and holding them upside-down by their legs the other day. Don't ask me why. They love it. They actually chase me around the house asking me to do it again. This love of an upside-down world carried over the pool.

Back to the adventure...

I tossed in G at least four or five times, into the deep end, off the diving board. Remember he's 7. And just learned to swim in the deep end maybe 3 weeks ago. We may have a little daredevil on our hands.

After the deep end tosses, I was commissioned as a circus freak/guy who tosses kids into the shallow end from the side of the pool. The job came with no pay and potential back problems down the road...but the kids had a great time so I'm cool.

And as the sun set and people began to illegally shoot off fireworks in the nearby skies, we loaded up the truck and rolled out. Off to more adventures...

No Hotdogs in the Pool

Well, we are about to embark on our 4th of July festivities - a BBQ n' Swimfest at a friend's house - as one Voltron* unit combined. 7 children. 2 adults. 1 SUV. Let the mayhem begin...

...and once we get there, my friend has his own 5 kids to toss into the mix. So, yea. Kidland over there. A land of kids. Children as far as the eye can see.

And as I prepare for this adventure, one nagging two-part question raises its hand in the back of my mind:

Part A. How many hot dogs covered with ketchup and mustard will hit the floor in a hot mess of food meets water and chlorine-soaked cement?
Part B. Or worse, food meets pool?

I'll let ya know...

*See the mid-1980s.

I Believe...#5

I believe chess is a great game to play with the kiddos. It teaches them to think ahead. Cause & effect. To use strategy. To plot. Plan. Scheme...um, wait a second...

Even still, it sure does make them look smarter sitting in front of chess instead of checkers.

Chess: Not just for old men in parks anymore.

So, A and I bought a chess set not too long ago and thought "hm, maybe we'll play this sometime." Or perhaps put it out as a "hey, we're a smart couple, look at our glass chess set!" type of decoration. Probably near the front entrance to set a great first impression to our guests. But...sadly we never opened it until today. To play the kids. Because they asked to play. Chess.

Well the first game was a close one between A and J-Girl, with A squeaking by a win with just her King and a Rook left standing. The next game I took on Girl J, and after a little strategy and perhaps a Leprechaun rooting me on from behind the couch, I won. J-Girl's a good player. A good - 11 year old - player.

Well, these games created so much ado along the countryside, all the villagers came down to watch and be watched. G then decided to throw his gauntlet down and challenged A to a game...a game that he won. He's 7.

So cheers were cheered and trumpets were sounded as Lil' B was the next to claim his chessmanship. He went up against G and the result was the longest game in chess history, ultimately resulting in a stalemate. Two kings staring down each other. Across the battlefield. Both hungry for a win. Both hungry to settle the score. Both hungry for...lunch. We had soft tacos. They were good.

"I went and hid behind a shoe."

This just in over the wires...

The Lego Castle, originally reported as unharmed and in tact, has been reduced to rubble.

"Arrrr! Methinks it be a sea creature that did her in," reports Lego Pirate with Beard and Eye Patch. "Up from the depths, bigger than any man e'er seen...come a giant boy-man, not yellow like the rest o' us. He be the monster that did the deed that be done!"

Eyewitness tales of the castle's downfall are coming in from as far away as the upstairs gameroom. They tell of arrant bricks, massive carnage and few survivors.

"I went and hid behind a shoe I did," says the pirate. "I went and hid behind a shoe."

Come pway Wegos!

Was just thinking how the way the youngest boys - E and J - ask to play Legos is hilarious.

"Come pway Wegos."

After 2.5 seconds, I get another...

"Come pway Wego-o-o-o-o-os!" (With each additional "o" there's a foot stomp.)

Okay. Thought I'd share with the group.

Oddly enough, they spared it.

Okay, so the elite few of you following this blog may have noticed the poll I had concerning the sacking - or non-sacking - of the Lego Castle I built (scroll for pictures somewhere below.) To those who thought they'd spare it, they spared it...for the most part. And only after adding their own individual touches, of course.

That's the sunshine, lollipops and rainbows news. And now for the rest of the broadcast...

I had to round up the herd and, with the support of A, assert the fact that when I say something, it needs to be done - just like when mom does. (Wow, I just got old.) But seriously, as a bill payer in this living structure, there have to be rules laid down, then rules followed. I'm not a junior in high school and this isn't me running for Student Council president. I'm already the popular guy in this house. No posters or speeches necessary.

I really don't like dictating to the kiddos, but if we don't, it will be Lord of the Flies meets Planet of the Apes or something. I don't know exactly, but it'll be unpleasant.

So, phrases like "time out" and "I'll take that Xbox away if you don't behave" were tossed about...then the Xbox was actually taken away. Tears were shed. Hopefully lessons learned...