Over some steak fajitas at the best Tex-Mex restaurant in the world, Desperado's on Greenville Ave, A and I had what I like to call a "blog-inducing" conversation. In the middle of a tricky queso to salsa to ranch chip dipping, she began to talk about how she wishes things in the past didn't happen with others, as to then been able to have had them happen with me instead. Errrrt! Tap the brakes. Put the fajita down. This convo just got kinda sorta serious. Went from small talk to let's talk in record time.
You see, I don't like to deal in "what ifs?" I don't see the benefit in it. I do, however, see the harm. Living with the constant pangs of what coulda been leaves you spinning your wheels in a stagnant mess, unable to truly see what then can be. I'm no doctor, but I'm thinking the daily stress people put their mushy brains through just thinking about the past and how they are gonna build that time machine to change it, isn't so healthy. I see it as literal metaphorical baggage that they are carrying that limits their ability to live life. I likened it to A carrying a huge suitcase full of clothes she can never wear anymore. Does her no good to lug it around. Gets in the way. Won't fit in the trunk. Drop the bag already.
If you are behind the wheel of a car, but drive while looking in the rearview, you're gonna crash. Same thing goes for driving your body down life's potholed streets. Eyes on the road, kid.
And while I got your attention, holding your partners accountable for one bad apple in the bunch is bad news. For you, for them, for the planet's ecosystem. There's rotten apples all over the ground, doesn't mean your apple isn't worm-free. It doesn't make sense to keep something one person did way back when zipped up in the side pocket of your little "freak out bag" and then turn around, open it up, and dump it out all over someone else like it's dirty laundry and they get to sort it out. Nope. Experiences tend to happen. Bad ones gotta happen to. Helps you learn what "good" means: Opposite of.
If you live your new life with your new partner constantly worrying about old experiences...Houston, we have a problem.
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